im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
