guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Welp...herpes.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
