Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
