Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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