we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize