I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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