So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
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So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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