im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
