Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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