So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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