you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
