So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
