He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize