HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize