Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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