i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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