That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
