Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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