Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
