Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
