You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
