dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
