To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
