I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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