And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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