best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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