Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
