I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
