We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
