I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
