life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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