I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
