woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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