sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
