i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dual....:-)
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
being pregnant is like rehab
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize