Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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