there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You left your phone here
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