You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize