It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize