We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
