It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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