I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
