apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
