There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
