the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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