We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
