He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
