We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
