If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize