with your own penis?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
