you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
