I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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