Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
