I wish my penis had an off switch
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
did i just pee glitter
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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