If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
