i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize