She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
