you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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