Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
